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  • Writer's picturePsalm Pollock

Ten Funny Amazon Reviews for the Weirdest Products on the Internet...

You've been there: casually browsing, when you come upon something ridiculous.


"Silver-plated underwear hanger."


Luckily, the Amazon buyer community never fails to come through with hilarious responses. Below are a few of our favorites.


#1: From the Definitive Guide on Evading Large Marine Objects...

This Book Could Save Your Life!
"I'm very much scared of ships. I live over a hundred miles inland and at 6,000 elevation but one can never be too careful!" — R. McLaughlin
Be Careful to Get the Latest Edition
"I don't want to be negative but none of the reviews I have read have addressed the fact that there are two editions. You want to make sure you buy the latest edition so that you have the most up-to-date information. Do you want to get run over by a huge ship just because you neglected to buy the latest edition? No, I didn't think so." — Dave

#2: Because, Aliens.

Beware of Customs
"I bought this [alien detector] recently from another vendor. The order was intercepted by customs who later sent out a pair of agents to investigate. One of them was a man in a WWII jacket and the other was a woman with a heavy Welsh accent. They kept asking about any other foreign material in my possession and seemed unusually interested in my marble collection. The woman also wanted to know if I had seen a blowfish driving a sports car. I still haven't gotten to try this thing out, but beware of getting your package intercepted by the guy in the WWII jacket." — Michael

#3: Because Where's This Guy Going...

Buyer Beware: This Product Does Not Come Equipped with a Weapon
"What good is a tank without an attached gun? I was forced to hang my arm out the window with my index finger and thumb extended in the "Pantomime Gun" gesture while squeaking out "Pyew! Pyew!" in a shrill falsetto. This did little to instill fear in my enemies." — M. Loy

What's your favorite? Tell us in the comments below. In the meantime, watch out for huge ships. Can't say we didn't warn you...



 

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